In this video I would just like to take a few minutes just to share with your personal story.
And this is just to build upon what I've shared with you over the last two videos.
No.
If you fundamentally get this you don't have to watch this video just fast forward and skip on over
to the next bit.
This will hopefully help you to understand exactly what I mean by this.
Just in a slightly deeper level as I further self disclose you still can think back going back to read
about five or six years ago.
I had a mantra at the time who I had really comtel to know this guy was he was on the public speaking
public speaking circuit network if you like throw scarle into very well established a very popular and
a very well light guy and he'd kind of take me under his wing.
No.
Me being me.
I have a different communication style than what he heard me are with generally be a little bit more
out there a bit more abstract and more for warrants.
He's where he would say he's just one of these really nice guys.
You know you never see him with a smile on his face.
The world was always lovely I guess over the years as I've grown to admire this guy.
Always kind of wonder what it would be like if I were to at some point in the future end up being as
good as hand.
So one day this woman this mentor of mine ended up phoning and get in touch.
He asked me if I would like to accompany him to event that he was speaking at on a Sunday a Sunday lunch
time.
And I was absolutely over the moon felt so honoured to have been asked.
So without thinking about it twice I agreed.
I ended up driving into Edinburgh which is not far from where I live to meet him on Sunday morning where
we went over what was going to be happening over the afternoon.
No I'd never met this guy outside of a professional context before.
But here we were on a Sunday morning going for a walk together along the river having a bit of a chart
kind of like we we're all friends or pals.
And as we got back to his house he didn't go in his house but his wife had prepared a party lunch for
us both for eating after the event which I was I was no start to feel like part of the family it was
phenomenal.
So we ended up going to the events and then I was I was with him.
So I was obviously associated with him and people were asking me questions about him and for me I kind
of fell into a bit of a significance trap.
You know what I mean by significant trap where would just Conor you know puff our chests and yeah you
know we go way back.
Like I was just sort of attaching myself to her.
But to be honest with you I admired him so much.
Now as he took the stage and began talking I just responded or reacted to him if you like in the in
the way that I always had done.
I would just stop.
Look listen here and become mesmerized with the calibre of his communications earns.
We communicated what he presented that day what he taught was phenomenal.
It always was after the event.
We stayed around for questions and answers and coffees and biscuits and then we got in the car and we
eat our packed lunch and then he dropped me off by my car and I went on to spend the rest of the afternoon
on my own.
No it got to about half past four in the afternoon and I just became aware of my emotional state my
emotional state had plummeted.
Had gone from being really excited first thing in the morning to fuel and really law like my self-esteem
had just dropped and this bag then I fundamentally understood.
On one level but it never really applied.
So what I'm sharing with you know is how it is that I actually applied this for the very first time
to take complete control of my emotional state self control.
So here was this low emotional state self worth was kind of plummeting right stop I should myself I
stopped myself and right what was I thinking what was I thinking or shaking my head that I was right
right.
I'm not accept this feeling.
I don't want to feel like what was I thinking.
And then there's a worm back inside my mind.
This morning I was fine when I went to the event I was fine.
When I watched him speak I was fine.
But then what happened afterwards.
What after the events.
The thought that popped into my mind that caught me off guard was one of the mauritian They may be thinking
to yourself I'd ration isn't a bad thing well it is when you're comparing yourself to someone else because
as I compared myself to my old mentor of that day guess what the story was that I told myself when something
like this.
Wow you're just so good.
You're such an excellent communicator.
I aspire to be like you some day.
But I'm just not like you today.
I am just nowhere near as good as you.
Hardest.
I don't know if I'll ever be as good this year would I ever be as good as you.
I don't know if I could be as good as you.
I'm just not that good.
And can you see the direction in which one's self-esteem would travel.
That's right.
It went downhill fast and all stemmed with a thought.
One simple thought what I'm saying here is if we are unaware of the thoughts that we are thinking and
the thoughts are popping inside of our heads were never going to be able to take control of our emotions.
And if we don't take control of our emotions our emotions can end up controlling us.
And this is fundamentally how guys and girls end up in prison.
You know cheating on their wife's ripping off friends and family members and you'd end up stuffing up
their businesses and all this sort of thing.
What I've seen is people will compromise their standards when they are leaving and making the decisions
impulsive way upon a motions when the reaction to their emotional states.
So what I'm hoping that this story has been able to illustrate T is the part that we can play in breaking
and stepping out of our own vicious circle through thought policing.
All right this may sound like a funny idea but I'm going to strongly urge to get your bobbi's helmets
out.
Get your police helmet on and become a policeman or a policewoman off your very own thoughts.
Spend the next 24 hours writing down as many thoughts as what you possibly can.
Just be aware of how many thoughts pop into your head.
Become aware of how many thoughts pop into your head that are helpful.
How many are unhelpful.
How many are are true and how many are a complete fabrication of the truth.
Because if you do this you are going to be able to see for yourself how imperative it is.
You become so completely aware of what's going on inside of your mind and how important that is.
You take complete control with the process because if you don't get good at taking control with this
process then this process will control you so that day as I've given myself a shake and figured out
what it was that I was thinking as a realized that initial thought was one of what I thought it was
admiration though wasn't it was one of comparison and comparison is completely belittling and unhealthy.
When I realized what it was that I had thought I thought you know what.
No I'm not.
I'm never going to be as good as home because I never can be home and because I'm not home.
But what I can be is I can be the best version of me that I can be.
I'm going to communicate different from home.
Guess what the world does it need any more hems because he's more than enough.
The world hasn't yet come to experience me in my fullness yet and whilst some people won't like me other
people well so I'll spend the rest of my days focussing on those that do well folks and those that DO
want me.
And this is just a healthier way of day sitting alone thought processes taking control of ourselves
and coming to more truthful outcomes.
Because if I accept our truth you know I am good enough.
There's nothing wrong with me.
While some people may not be everyone's cup of tea I appreciate that we all have different tastes in
life.
I prefer coffee or tea doesn't mean he's bad right.
I prefer carrot cake or chocolate cake.
It doesn't mean that chocolate cakes but some people will prefer hem over me doesn't mean that I'm bad
either.
What's true for me.
A friend is also true for you.
I appreciate the last in you and this video not so much informative.
Demand a little bit reflection and some consideration as you really.
Everything that I've shared with you up until now the context of your own life and your own internal
processes.
So in the next video I'm going to share with yet another fascinating model.
I call this the emotional IQ that is actually a natural order of our emotions.
And if we become competent at reading our emotions then this in turn will enable us to also become far
more effective managing our thoughts are intrigued.
Are you interested.
I'm a boring if not all in Florida scene again.
Then the next klep.